Now don't be rash

Rash, rash, rash, rash. Poor Bugsly Doogle knows this word well. Off and on for the past several weeks, Doodle has endured much rash over much of her body. If it were burns, you could probably compared the severity to that of Michael Jackson's infamous Pepsi Cola hair ignition. Now, I am not saying that Bugsly is going to use this as an excuse to get multiple nose jobs and her skin coloring treatments, I am merely saying that I couldn't blame her if she did.

So it is Cetaphil cream (not lotion) for her. She is so slippery with the cream that bathing her is like trying to hold a greased pig. Luckily, Melanie has experience catching such slathered swine from her early days in the circus. Unfortunately, given my rather upscale adolescence, the closest I have ever came to oily hogs is when the man with the dirty shirt ordered a "hot dog" during one of my luncheons at Spago.

So what else is new in Bugslyland? Isn't that what you are all tuned in to read? Let's see. Her physical development appears to be unchanged with the exception of some new hair buds in the bald part of her knoggin' (see photo). This was to be expected after we started with the Baby's Own Rogaine treatment, which is basically the leftover sludge at the bottom of my neighbors Rogaine bottle (extracted masterfully from the trash under the cover of darkness), a little baby oil, some garlic, and a dew-rag (for support). We can't have Bugsly go around as a little bald girl now can we? It's a fact that 75% of all bald and semi-bald children under the age of two have low self-esteem, so we need to do all we can early on. Ok, ok, so that last statistic is - probably - not entirely accurate, but what in this world is?

Oh, there is one last "new" thing. She is a sharer. Meaning, she likes to give Daddy (and sometimes Mommy) her drooled on objects of affection for us to take a pull off. In the last week, I too have teethed on drooly cups, teethers, and blankets, mainly as an effort not to offend Bugsly and her gracious offering. I was trying forever not to be the first to introduce my oral flora into her mouth (given the septic nature of my trench mouth), but her insistence in swapping drool with me could only means lots of time at the dentist in the future. If only she would have shared first with perfect mouth Melly, all would have been fine.

-Brian