Gurgle, ppppptttt...dadadadada

That's right. Gurgle, pppppttt....dadadadadada. Baby Bugsly Doodle has finally mastered the one word that will ensure a place in my heart, forever. After months of prompting, poking with a long pointy stick, and sarcastic humiliation (i.e. "Oh, you can say mama, that will really help you out while she is working those long grueling hours at the rash cream factory), she has finally come around and let the beloved words of "dada" fly from her toothless mouth.

Along with phonemes, Bugsly Doodle has also begun mastering the art of barrel rolling. Not to be confused with the barrel rolling in lumberjack contests, Bugsly's version involves a rapid fire spin to move her from point A to point B.

To determine the full extent of this rolling, I devised an experimental apparatus that measures the angular velocity of Bugsly Doodle, for it would be far to dangerous to measure her unencumbered velocity on a straight path. If we figure that Bugsly is has a diameter in barrel configuration of roughly 1 ft (or 0.3048 m) with an angular velocity of 0.0984 radians/s, she has a velocity of roughly 0.03 m/s (2m per minute). In short, I cannot ever leave the room whilst she rolls.

I have thought about attaching blades to her to turn her into a lethal weapon to do my bidding. Imagine standing at the supermarket with all those grocery buying dopes who don't have a spinning baby blade to push their way to the front of the line. Let's just say I won't be waiting to make my purchase of Hot Rod magazine, kerosene, and kielbasa sausage for very long. The pictures show a sequence of rolling taken by a high speed camera on a laser tripline. Bugsly is very hard to photograph in her natural setting, so this contraption was necessary to catch her in action. I have considered applying for funding from DARPA (Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency) to explore future battlefield implications.

The days in Omaha grow shorter and the weather colder. Our morning walks have either been postponed or turned into death marches akin to prisoner transport through Siberia during the Cold War. The -200C temperatures have frozen the lubricating oils on Bugsly's transport vehicle, permanently locking the axles. I think perhaps we will just watch the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory again until it heats up this afternoon.

-Brian